"Going Home" by Bro Yue Guang - 3 January

Bro Yue Guang is one of the ex-Presidents of BFY. He is currently studying in Melbourne and his talk was largely based on his overseas experience.

He started off with a discussion of what "home" means to us. Home can be identified as a place, and with physical things like our favorite soft toys; a place we can be ourselves. But when we have to be away from our physical home, we can find home not in a physical place but whenever we don't want to be anywhere else with no worries.

A question to us is when everything is going wrong, are we able to feel at home, being at peace with the situation?

He told us of one of his experiences. During a course, he had been canoeing around Singapore for a full day, and then the current got so strong that he and his buddy were canoeing on the same spot for 3 hours. They managed to make it to the safety rope set up by their instructor but decided to go back to help their friend. That was when a strong wave came. Their canoe was swept away and they were left holding onto the rope for dear life. Their instructor and friends were nowhere near to help. The current was so strong, it was already dark, they were exhausted and on the verge of slipping off the rope. He thought that if this was the end, perhaps it isn't so bad if he can be at peace. He positioned himself parallel to the current so there was less force. At that point he was simply in the moment, not wanting to be anywhere else. They were eventually rescued.

When we aren't at home, in an external environment, we can start being afraid of what we say or do, making us nervous etc to our own disadvantage. It's not good for us at all to not be ourselves. An example is when Bro Yue Guang entered a lecture theatre where he was the minority race. He could get all nervous, but he was at home at present moment without the external chatter, worrying about where to sit, who to talk to etc. When he was at ease he was strong enough to reach out to other people. When someone approached him to talk to, he could be genuine.

A side effect of this inner peace is that people may think we don't really care like during disasters. But we have to ask ourselves: are we getting swept by the media and society or are we home, true to ourselves? Eg people were so sad when Princess Diana died when she isn't even related to them.

We are always thinking we have to do something but it's important to be home with the present moment at times. We felt it when Bro Yue Guang deliberately put pauses between his words as he spoke. We weren't thinking about what's for dinner or wanted to be anywhere else.

3 steps to being at home:

1. Recognise (the place, emotion etc) such as how you recognize a physical home.

2. Familiarity.

3. Become at ease.

We can jump to step 3 straightaway especially in life threatening situations.

To achieve being at home:

Have a code of ethics which is the 5 precepts. When we have blamelessness and lead a moral life it is easier to just relax.

Have appreciative joy through humility, being happy with the situation eg rejoice in others' achievements even if we aren't benefitting. We get a peace of mind when we are less self-centred and desire less.

Have compassion. Wherever we are, try to reach out to people. Gives peace of mind to meditate.

To be in the present moment, bring awareness back to present moment, breath, physical sensations etc. Appreciate surroundings eg how the tiles connect, a flower we see etc. We can do this especially when we get tense and may be thinking too much. We can recognize that many conditions are beyond our control and to be at peace when we have done our best.

Q&A

How to forgive oneself?

Notice the physical effect of guilt - tension, constantly thinking and blaming ourselves. Then we just don't want to do this anymore. What's done is done. Everyone makes mistakes. We have a right to make mistakes and to be angry at ourselves. But recognize everyone does. Think of those instances when we feel so at peace and we can love the entire world. Eg when we are helping someone genuinely. We don't realise how many people we have touched as we are so caught up in our troubles. We can write these in a diary to motivate ourselves.

An eg: A soldier was traumatized as he killed 6 children when he was trying to get back at his enemies. But he was asked how many children can he help? He turned his life around, helping many, many more children.

To sum up (written by Bro Yue Guang) build your house with:

5 precepts as 5 foundation pillars (they ensure you have a clean conscience) 

Bricks of humility that can weather hot or cold i.e. insult or praise. (this makes you drop the ego and desire) 

Paint the walls with loving kindness and compassion (they bring you peace) 

Fill the inside with warm white light of gratitude (gratitude is antidote for ill will) 

Most importantly, a meditation cushion or room for you to have your own solitude and meditate. 

Second most importantly is a comfortable bed to get good sleep so that sloth and torpor won't hinder your mindfulness.