The opening question was: are we keeping the 5 precepts?
We are born w complete faculties, all the more we should practise.
To be a morally upright person we should reflect on damage of breaking the precepts. From there we see the benefits of keeping them.
Ajahn's father brought him up to keep the 5 precepts. He naturally disliked lying. His father's value was never to take anything as small as a needle from anyone. This conditioned him not to steal.
As a teenager sometimes his friends went fishing but he was lucky be inclined not to take lives. However, once he followed friends who were sons of fishermen to go fishing which was good fun. They were going to cook them.
Around 10 or 11 pm, a voice came to him and asked him if he loved his family and himself. He said yes. If anyone were to harm them or yourself would you like that? He said of course not. Then the voice says you already have a comfortable lifestyle, why do you have to harm other beings? All the beings you have killed have families like you just that they can't speak. He then returned the creatures that had not been cooked to the ocean and resolved to keep the first precept from then on.
There is duality in the world. When there are men there are women; with darkness there is light; there is badness when there is goodness. Knowing all this is dhamma. Whatever is good in the world he wished to develop that.
He looked upon girls as sisters and those of the same age as friends. This was the observance of sila (morality) as there was no intention to deceive them, rather he had respect for them. As a teenager he had his own set of standards, one of which was not to go anywhere alone with a female as he was afraid of liking her; he wanted to finish his studies before having a girlfriend.
One's mindfulness may not be good in the first place but taking alcohol and drugs lessens it. When Ajahn was 21, he saw a drunk vomit at a bus stop. Drunk people's behaviour is very poor so he decided to abstain from drinking.
All these incidents when he was growing up enabled him to keep the 5 precepts quite easily.
The rationale behind precepts is that we would not like it if people kill, steal, have sexual misconduct towards, lie, have wrong speech towards us. So we should not do to others. We have this body from our parents, those people who drink destroy their health and mindfulness and waste money.
Most people seek happiness through sensory pleasures - 5 senses, wealth, status and praise. However these kinds of happiness are very small and short-lived, and serve to temporarily alleviate dukkha (suffering). It isn't true happiness where the mind is liberated beyond suffering. Being content with these kinds of gross happiness gets us reborn over and over again. When people have delusion they seek only external happiness. The mind doesn't see physical and mental suffering as it is but attaches to them and see them as oneself. Aging, sickness and death cause mental suffering as we deludedly think the body is oneself. Ajahn himself thought in this same way but when he was sick he asked himself if the mind has control over the body. It does not; thus the body is not the mind and the mind is not the body. We cannot stop aging, sickness and death by the will of the mind. The mind and body are separate but just depend on each other for a lifetime. Everyone is afraid of death but all who are born must die. Hence we should develop the wisdom of being afraid of birth so we aren't reborn. Upon such reflection one wouldn't be careless but cultivate good qualities. Life is short, hence we should develop our mind and do things of benefit to our minds. Acquiring things like wealth serves to temporarily alleviate our needs and suffering but material possessions cannot be brought along with us after death.
Attachment to the body is suffering. Hence we should reflect on non-self using mindfulness. Likewise we attach to thoughts and emotions, believing them to be us. When we wish for happiness we experience mental disturbance. If the mind were oneself and one wishes for happiness, suffering will never arise. Thoughts and emotions are passing and they are not the mind. There is nothing that does not bring suffering when we attach to it.
Teachings of the Buddha:
Avoid evil. Develop the good and cultivate the mind towards wisdom and good. If one fails to abstain from unwholesome deeds it is a source of suffering for oneself.
Keeping the precepts gives us peaceful, harmless actions and speech, while meditation gives us a peaceful mind. No matter how strong the greed and hatred, those who keep precepts will not take things from others, harm or take lives. However within ones heart there may still be agitations so one has to take control over that. People can train elephants and horses but why can't we train our minds? We must train the mind so it is not agitated or swept by thoughts. Practise meditation to train the mind, brings a calm with concentration. One must have patience and endurance to develop mindfulness to the extent one is mindful even out of meditation, always keeping a close watch over the mind. A mindful person can see the suffering that arises within their mind, and then use mindfulness to seek out the cause.
With mindfulness one can pick out defilements; suffering; greed, hatred and delusion. Therefore all of us should consider putting effort in the practice. Without this cultivation the mind is not strong enough to separate itself from its contents. One with little mindfulness will act upon the contents ie act on greed, anger to harm others, take from them, argue or even kill. They let greed, anger and delusion take over their minds, hence they act and speak in a bad way. When one has mindfulness and wisdom, greed, anger and delusion is filtered out. Actions become wholesome and happiness arises both in the present and future. One would see the true nature of the body and not be deluded. One will consequently be heedful in living one's life, going about one's activities and taking care of the family responsibly, and cultivating the mind to have right view. With mindfulness, concentration and wisdom, the contents are separated from the mind. Without those they seem one thing and one would believe they are a whole, creating suffering. See the truth of aging, sickness and death. Seeing the impermanence of body and mind one will let go and happiness arises. Therefore if we wish for happiness we should develop our minds by following the teachings of Buddha to best of our ability for the cessation of suffering.
For all of us, don't be heedless in living life or be complacent. If not for the Buddha we would not know the truth of happiness of going beyond suffering. We need patience in our practice to get out of suffering.
Q&A
How to overcome forgetfulness?
Develop mindfulness by focusing on 1 meditation object.
1. The breath, the sensation of it. Put down all thoughts of past and future.
2. If the mind is restlessly thinking, breathe in say "Bud", breathe out say "Dho" to cut out thoughts.
3. Or focus entirely on reciting "Buddho" to develop mindfulness. Stick to whichever we get the best results from. Can do walking meditation too.
How to deal with anger?
First see that anger is a source of suffering. Seeing that find a way to let go. If we don't see that, we would keep it within our hearts. Once Ajahn saw two friends having a heated argument and it was clear it was a source of suffering. He then made the determination to let go of anger and defilements, and try not to let it arise.
1. To control heart in anger, control by keeping 5 precepts.
2. Frequently practise meditation. The mind will have more and more patience to bear with anger.
3. Do metta meditation to cultivate goodwill.
One would have the mindfulness to catch anger arising, and be grateful for those pointing out one's faults, and anger ceases very quickly. If we have not done anything wrong there is no reason to be angry.
If we have weak mindfulness and wisdom we are subject to arguments, harming and killing. Mindfulness helps us think before we speak. If it is inappropriate to say anything have the mindset of letting it cease and not speaking. For most people whatever they think they speak as they lack mindfulness and wisdom which causes them distress. It is difficult to cultivate mindfulness and wisdom so practise frequently.
What happens to the mind upon death?
The mind takes on what it has been developing. If wholesome, one is reborn in the human or deva realm. If unwholesome, one is reborn in the woeful realms (hell, hungry ghost, animal and azura). Do good and get good results and vice versa. Hence cultivate morality and mind.
How to get rid of desire?
Desire is attachment to sensory pleasures, never feeling full. The Desire of humans knows no bounds. The cessation is the practice of morality - precepts and meditation.
What is the difference between awareness and mindfulness?
They are very similar, they go together. Mindfulness is recollection. Awareness is general knowing. First develop mindfulness through meditation, practise frequently. It develops concentration which many people don't like, they prefer to let it run. Then one will be more aware in general as well.
How to help a depressed person?
They have to practise themselves. Depressed people are not practising. The practice of sila (morality), samadhi (concentration) and pañña (wisdom) is the medicine for mind. Many people neglect them and as a result people lack mindfulness and wisdom, attaching to emotions thinking they're the mind and getting depressed. They may have to take medication to manage their minds.
How to deal with negative emotions towards people who are mean or don't treat us well?
Have mindfulness and patience to let go of feelings as quickly as you can. It is normal to have conflict and differences. Overcome anger through non-anger.
It's the person's business they have anger and it's our own business not to have anger towards others. The attachment people have, towards body and mind and the sense of self is difficult to get rid of and causes us to be angry when people say things. Hence we must practise meditation to cultivate our minds.
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