BFY Talk – End of Suffering Is Now

Last Saturday’s talk, “End of Suffering Is Now” was by Sister Rachel Lim.

‘Suffering’ – English translation of Pali word ‘dukkha’ which is more accurately translated as dissatisfaction (includes subtle dissatisfaction, not just great misery).

Examples of dukkha are aging, sickness and death.

Sister Rachel made this really insightful point that when things happen to other people we may think “Never mind, there are still other good things” whereas when they happen to us the misery is very real.

We desire pleasure and do not want to experience pain. We experience dukkha whenever things fall short of our desires.

The roots of dukkha are greed, hatred and delusion.

Greed (Desire)

-          Plays up when there is something we like a lot eg an expensive bag. We experience dissatisfaction when we are waiting to save up enough money, and also after we get the bag when others may not take as much notice of it as we would like.

-          When the situation falls short of our desires, we may have a lot of self-centred thinking e.g. I deserve to be happy; I am a victim; why me?

-          We lose sight of the big picture when one thing consumes us.

-          To put things more into perspective we can look at people who are worse off than us; this reminds us to be appreciative of what we have.

Hatred (Anger/ Aversion)

-           To help ourselves, we can reflect and be critical of our actions eg question ourselves why we lose our temper.

Ignorance

-          It is difficult to understand reality and see things as they are

-          We are in total control of our dukkha

-          We can remove it by cultivating wisdom which is by practising the Noble Eightfold Path

o   Wisdom aspect: Right View, Right Intention

o   Morality aspect: Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood

o   Concentration aspect: Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, Right Concentration

-          The morality aspect enables us to live in accordance to the middle path i.e. in between indulgence and self-mortification

-          We tend to indulge more rather than self-mortify

-          A quote by Matthieu Ricard (happiest man in the world) likening the wise mind of a cultivated meditater to a deep ocean: “Sometimes the ocean is calm, like a beautiful mirror; sometimes there are storms and high seas. These are the ups and downs of life—joys and sufferings, difficulties and successes, destructive and constructive areas of your life—but the depth of the ocean always remains unchanging. If you can free yourself from being the slave of your own thoughts, even in the midst of sorrows, you have a much better chance to live a flourishing life. That’s where real happiness lies.”

We then played a game where we had to make a tennis ball roll for as long as possible on a flip chart paper after releasing it. The meaning behind the game is that we are the owners of our own karma, like our method and force determines how long the ball moves. The flip chart paper is likened to our afflictions and the moving ball is one who is not at peace. Through this activity, we question ourselves what keeps our ball moving? Our piece of homework is to work on one affliction that we would like to get rid of.

- Pei Si

A Little Act Goes A Long Way

Sis Kai Xin shared this sweet little story with us.

John worked at a meat distribution factory. One day, when he finished with his work schedule, he went into the meat cold room (Freezer) to inspect something but in a moment of bad luck, the door closed and he was locked inside with no help in sight.

Although he screamed and knocked with all his might, his cries went unheard as no one could hear him. Most of the workers had already gone and outside the cold room (freezer), it’s impossible to hear what was going on inside. Five hours later, whilst John was on the verge of death, the security guard of the factory eventually opened the door and saved him. John then asked the security guard what he came to do there as it wasn’t part of his work routine.

His replies: “I’ve been working in this factory for 35 years. Hundreds of workers come in and out every day but you’re one of the few who greets me in the morning and says goodbye to me every night when leaving after working hours. Many treat me as if I am invisible.

So today like every other day, you greeted me in your simple manner “Hello” at the entrance when resuming for work, But curiously after working hours today, I observed I’ve not heard your “Good bye see you tomorrow”. Hence I decided to check around the factory.

I look forward to your greetings every day because to you, I am someone. By not hearing your farewell, I knew something had happened. Then I sought and found you!

Moral Lesson:
Be humble, love and respect those around you because life is too short. Try to have an impact on people in ways we can’t even imagine especially the people that cross our path daily. Stay blessed!

BFY Leaders’ Retreat (6 to 9 June)

The BFY Leaders’ Retreat was a time for the leaders to come together to discuss about BFY. It was a really eye-opening experience for the new leaders (like me). Often we find that service and other BFY activities are run very smoothly, and don’t realise how much hard work and planning goes behind all that. This helps us be a lot more appreciative of the leaders, and also get an insight into what leadership is about.

We stayed at Kwan Yin Chai Lin, a Zen Buddhist Centre during the retreat.

First, we did a personality test to help us know each other’s strengths so we can better work with each other. Next, we were presented with 2 different scenarios that could happen in BFY regarding membership numbers, and brainstormed solutions in groups. This got our thinking hats on, and we learnt that ultimately we have to be realistic and be flexible; we will only know the true effectiveness of solutions when we put them into practice.

We then relooked at our system – our Vision, Mission and Core Values. Initially none of us had any changes to make but ended up having a lot to say as the discussion went on. Before this discussion, many of us were unaware of how these three things really shape the way we run BFY. We also feel really appreciative of how BFY changed from a group centred on fun a few years back to one centred on Dhamma. Fun gets unfeasible after awhile, for people can just have fun elsewhere without coming to BFY and just focusing on fun can undermine the values of some people. Taking a gamble to focus on Dhamma proved successful; it won’t attract everyone but will attract and develop people who are really keen to learn and practise. Indeed, you never go wrong with Dhamma.

Over the few days of retreat, we had several discussions about the issues BFY faces; first identifying them, then coming up with solutions, and refining our solutions through further discussions. The Exco, Captains and Initiative Directors did the final discussions in our own groups then presented the finalised solutions and plans to everyone. Now that this had been done, we started discussions for the highlight of every year – the BFY Year-End Camp. Stay tuned for more updates.

For our last dinner of the retreat on Day 3, we had a surprise – a completely paid-for dinner by BF at Au Chocolate at MBS for our hard work.

Taking photos at MBS!

Sumptuous dinner :P

After that, the new leaders were invested into the BFY leaders, and each of us was presented with a gift from the leader whom we are working with.

On top of discussions, we were exposed to new things, one of which is the extended chanting that we do in the morning and evening. The chanting we do before and after service for BFY is in fact shorter than the chants that are done at many Buddhist centres and temples, and this exposed us to the practice and put us in the mindset to practise in the day.

One of the most memorable experiences was Day 2 when we went around Singapore to visit different temples of different Buddhist traditions. The rationale for this was that as a Buddhist, we should understand and appreciate the different forms of Buddhism and their history, which many of us were not aware of. The temples we visited are Wat Palelai (Thai Theravada), Lian Shan Shuang Lin Monastery (Chinese Mahayana), Wat Ananda (Thai Theravada) and Amitabha Buddhist Centre (Tibetan Mahayana).

At Wat Palelai, some of us had our first experience giving Dana (food) to the Sangha, which we gave to a resident monk, Ajahn Seng. It exposed us to the way Dana was done, and it was really heartwarming to see how much food was prepared in total, not just by us. It is really nice to think of how the other Sangha members would have the rest of the food during the next meal timeslot, and we also got to eat some of the leftover food. Ajahn Seng gave us a talk when we did Dana at his own will as well. This brings to light how the lay people and Sangha support each other; lay people provide the living necessities and the Sangha provide Dhamma teachings.

Bro Chye was our tour guide at Lian Shan Shuang Lin Monastery; explaining the significance behind the architecture and symbolism used in the Chinese Mahayana tradition. This was really eye-opening; most of us had not known that there is so much meaning behind them. It also helped us appreciate that what is central to Buddhism is the teaching regardless of the tradition, and to be appreciative on how the Mahayana tradition enabled us to learn the Dhamma since it spread through China.

Wat Ananda was the most similar to Buddhist Fellowship; also sporting modern architecture. We walked through an exhibition hall with various Buddhist statues and had a sharing session with the Young Buddhist Chapter youths there.

Our final stop, Amitabha Buddhist Centre, is a Tibetan Buddhist centre that practises the Mahayana tradition. The centre reflected the Tibetan culture, with many statues and vibrant colours used. We appreciated how they revere their teachers because they are a living example of what we can aspire to be as we didn’t have direct experience with the Buddha and would not have much of an impression of how he was really like. We also realised that the teachings are very similar in most ways but they do have some deviations; such as for the Theravada school we believe that once enlightened the being never returns, while the Tibetan school believes that enlightened beings can still return.

Overall, the Leaders’ Retreat was a really meaningful and eye-opening experience centred on Dhamma for all of us, and sharing our thoughts and experiences further enhanced it.

- Pei Si

Excerpt on Compassion

Again, Bro Heng Xuan very generously shared another excerpt with us, this time on compassion.

“…when we step on a thorn, our hand reaches down, pulls it out, and bandages the foot. The hands doesn’t say, “Foot, you’re so stupid! I told you to watch where you’re going, but you didn’t. Now I have to fix you up. Don’t forget that you owe me a favor!” Why doesn’t the hand “think” like this? Because the hand and the foot are part of the same organism, and they help each other naturally and without thinking. Similarly, if we consider ourselves part of the same organism of all sentient life, we will reach out to others as if they were us. That is the type of compassion we try to develop through practice.”
Thubten Chodron

Have a great day ahead, people :)